Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Movie channel

I had the opportunity to watch Batman Begins on cable. It was my first time seeing the film, and I enjoyed it quite a bit more than the other Batmans (Batmen?) I've seen. Peculiarly though, every time I see the title I read it in my head as Batman BAY-gins, pronounced like the former Israeli Prime Minister.

I'd keep this oddity to myself, only I noticed in conversation that 3XHAR, in referring to the movie, says aloud the same BAY-gins that I hear in my head. What funky cross-wiring in our heads makes both of us inclined to do that? And how many other people have this bug? It's not like it's "hah-hah" jokey-funny or anything, it's just funny-strange.

Social commitments

I drove with my wife to a cousin's baby shower last Saturday, and brought some good books along so I could disappear until the shower was over. Unfortunately for me, part way through the shower my wife found me and assigned me to take photos of the gift opening. She still has not apologized for this.

I had my subversive fun though. One gift turned out to be a "Jesus loves me" porcelain bank. I had to think about that one for a moment before leaning down to whisper to an aunt, "Jesus saves!" That got my aunt giggling for a good thirty seconds.

Friday, May 05, 2006

ISOs

There was a monkey pile in one of the financial message boards I read where people were rushing to denounce the incentive stock options (ISOs) awarded to executives. The main gripe was that the exercised options were draining money out of the company that "should" have been going to ordinary shareholders, or at least remaining in shareholder equity. One post read, in part:
I for one am against any "incentive stock options" for executive officers. Just like the other workers they do not need any incentives to perform what they were hired to do in the first place.
This is just the kind of straw man I love to pummel, but let me approach from my own, non-executive perspective. I am a non-supervisory technical professional with decent qualifications. There is a job description for my position. Nowhere on that job description do I see that I have to respond to a phone call at 2 a.m. to drive an hour round trip to handhold a client as he gets a unit back online. That might be in the on-duty serviceman's description, maybe the project manager's job description, but not mine. Yet I find myself doing such things from time to time. I think it is inarguable that it helps the company, its image, its efficiency, and ultimately its revenue.

Now the primary reason I will do that is professional pride, not ISOs, since I have done that sort of thing previously in the absence of ISO compensation. But it wears thin over time, particularly when the company's hiring is lagging its business upswing. Over time, you start to notice that the manufacturing and service guys are earning overtime premiums and sometimes big holiday windfalls, whereas your own extra hours and night calls haven't earned you one extra dime. You are salaried, after all. Six to nine months of that and you're checking the job market, shopping around for the higher salary -- since without the time-vested incentives there's little reason to put up with increasing work for a below-industry-average paycheck.

Now you can see that I'm already alluding to another reason for ISOs: they potentially allow a cash-strapped company to retain people with the promise of future compensation. The company gets to restrain the cash-burn going into professional salaries at the expense of future options costs. The future options only cost the company if the options are exercised in-the-money, which is only the case if the stock went up, which should only be the case if the company is meeting with success. Really seems like a win all around.

When you consider that it can literally take years for even a seasoned technical professional to become fully productive within a new company environment (new tools, new procedures, different product line), if ISOs really do diminish turnover among those workers then they're probably a bargain. Getting back to the original comment that fueled this rant, I think the commenter is just totally missing the point. ISOs are not for getting people to "do their job." I believe they're for motivating people to go above and beyond, particularly where straight salary awards are limited, and are an added retention mechanism for the more critical individuals. And while the original post admittedly addressed "executives" specifically, I have a hard time believing that there are not executives who are as critically important as certain other workers. One can quibble with the magnitude of the ISOs awarded -- did the CFO really merit 25,000 option shares when he was promoted -- but that's not what the post talked about. And since the posters did not sanction ISOs for anyone at all, how could it not have been a condemnation of the ISOs themselves?

The poster can rail on and on with, "Here's your salary, do your job!" But how does he respond when half of engineering gets fed up and leaves for Johnson Controls, say? The stick only goes so far when the economy is booming, and it's even less effective against highly-credentialed workers, even in the lean years. Sometimes there's no substitute for the carrot.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Bear-ly credible

This story at CNN ("Arctic mission to spotlight polar bears") is another one written according to the ominous global warming template. It begins:
Two U.S. explorers plan to start a four-month summer expedition to the North Pole next month to gather information on the habitat of an animal they believe could be the first victim of global warming -- the polar bear.
While these explorers plan on going north, the credulous CNN story has already gone south, because I was told that the "first victim" of global warming was Tuvalu. "Ah," you say, "but they're just people. We're talking about the animal kingdom's victims of mankind here." Um, okay. Weren't we told that the golden toad was the first critter nixed by global warming? I'm not saying that there can't be multiple victims, but there can only be one "first." Perhaps the polar bear is intended to be the leading, page-one cute, fuzzy hostage to global warming then? Or is it the pika (american mountain rabbit)? Folks will have to get back to me when a decision is reached.

Next paragraph:
Lonnie Dupre and Eric Larsen plan to travel 1,100 miles by foot and canoe over the Arctic Ocean to test the depth and density of the ice in summer in a mission sponsored by Greenpeace, the environmental group said on Thursday.
So basically this is a story banged out based on a Greenpeace press release. That would help explain the alarmist bent. How does the rest of the story about this allegedly-scientific journey hold up? Not too well, I judge, based on this hilarious admission:
Unusually heavy snow and ice last year forced Dupre and Larsen to call off a similar mission [...]
Question: If heavy snow and ice prevents you from going out to measure the ice, aren't you biasing the outcome a bit? No wonder the trip is named "Project Thin Ice." They've already decided that when there's thick ice, they'll wait until next year!

The story ends on a sobering note, as all stories of this kind try to do:
The polar bear population fell 14 percent to just 950 in the 10 years to 2004, according to Greenpeace and the Natural Resources Defense Council.
Looks like Greenpeace needs to jump on those miscreants at Polar Bears International, who are irresponsibly touting a figure of "22,000 to 25,000 bears". Or how about National Geographic, which writes that the Canadian arctic itself accounts for 15,000 bears?

If Greenpeace brings the same standards to measuring ice thickness as they do to counting bears, we're never going to hear from Dupre and Larsen again.